Effective communication is a fundamental skill that can enrich every aspect of your life, from personal relationships to professional success. While some individuals are naturally more outgoing and skilled in conversation, it’s important to remember that effective communication is a skill that you can always learn and hone, regardless of your social, professional, or academic background.
In this article, we will explore the basics of effective communication and provide you with advice and tips tailored for people who are considered to be wallflowers and introverts and who may be looking to improve their social skills and consequently, their relationship with other people. In the subsectors that follow, important facts to consider and/or equally significant tips and actions to implement will be given to you to test and practice your social skills in real life.
1. Active Listening
One of the foundational principles of effective communication is active listening. This means giving your full attention to the person speaking, without interrupting or formulating your response while they talk. If you are not very sociable and an introvert, you can benefit greatly from this practice because it allows you to fully understand what’s being said and respond more thoughtfully. In addition, active listening can be a comfortable way to engage in a conversation without feeling the pressure to talk excessively. It allows you to participate without dominating the dialogue.
Important Fact
During a conversation, most people do not pay close attention to what is said by the other person and reply based on what they truly want to say, not on what the other person is talking about. If you can do the latter, you separate yourself from 90% of interlocutors.
What To do In Practice
Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and using verbal cues like “I see” or “I understand” to show you’re engaged in the conversation.
2. Body Language
Your body language can help you express yourself when words feel challenging. Body gestures, facial expressions, and your posture can speak as loudly as your words.
When you are participating in a conversation, pay close attention to them. Use open and welcoming body language to convey interest and approachability.
Important Fact
Communication does not entirely consist of words. In fact, according to Chris Voss, former FBI agent and author of the amazing negotiation-tactics book titled “Never Split The Difference”, only 7 percent of meaning is passed on to another individual through verbal communication. As for the rest of it, 38 percent is passed on through tone of voice, and 55 percent through body language. This rule was developed by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, who laid out the concept in his 1971 book Silent Messages (1971). You can learn more if you follow this link How to Use the 7-38-55 Rule to Negotiate Effectively – 2023 – MasterClass.
What To Do In Practice
Observe the body language of others and try to mimic positive cues, like a friendly smile and relaxed posture. By doing these, you can appear to be more inviting in conversations. Use gestures and expressions to supplement your communication.
3. Small Talk
Engaging in small talk is often the first step in a conversation. In many cases, It is the most common way to ease into more extended conversations. It provides a structured starting point, making it less intimidating to initiate interactions. People who are introverts and who often tend to feel awkward when engaging in a conversation with a person can start by asking open-ended questions about general topics like hobbies, travel, or current events. Chatting about a potential mutual point of interest helps break the ice and leads to more meaningful conversations.
Important Tip
Provision is the key. Prepare a few small talk questions in advance to have on hand for social situations. Being prepared for a probable interaction can help you feel more confident and less anxious about starting a conversation.
4. Practice
Like any skill, you can improve in effective communication by practicing with other people. Put yourself in various social situations, even if they make you a bit uncomfortable. The more you expose yourself to uncomfortable situations, the better it will be for you to communicate better under pressure and on many occasions. Just like in every aspect of life, the more you practice a skill or a habit, the greater and more confident you will become at performing it over time.
Two (2) tips you can implement:
- Join clubs or groups related to your interests. Shared interests make it easier to find common ground and initiate conversations.
- Start with one-on-one conversations or smaller gatherings. These settings can feel less overwhelming and provide an opportunity for deeper connections.
5. Embrace Your Introversion
Being an introvert is not necessarily a liability for you. Compared to more talkative individuals, introverts possess some significant ‘social assets’ when interacting with other people, such as their ability to listen deeply and think before they speak. Instead of trying to change your introverted nature (if you consider yourself to be an introvert), embrace it and leverage it to connect with others on a deeper level.
Two (2) Important Tips:
- What you think of a disadvantage of yours may turn into a strong advantage, if you recognize it as such and exploit it accordingly to bring the tables in your favor. In general, this is true for many things and in many cases.
- Understand that effective communication doesn’t mean being the loudest or the most outgoing person in the room. It means that through it, you can connect authentically and on a genuine level with others, which is unarguably the end goal.
Conclusion
Effective communication is a learnable skill that can benefit unsociable people and introverts. By focusing on active listening, positive body language, small talk, practice, and embracing your introverted nature, you can improve your social skills and build more meaningful connections with others. Remember that everyone, regardless of their communication style, has something valuable to contribute to a conversation. Seeing every person you meet as superior to you, in terms of knowledge and sometimes experience on subjects yet (more or less) unexplored by you is an interesting and beneficial point of view for you.
