It can`t be arguable that dealing with others is considered an art since it can be very challenging. This is because most people are not actually what we think of them. In this article, we will explore three main techniques that if applied daily when dealing with others, can have a positive impact on how others interact with you.
1. Don`t Criticize, Condemn Or Complain
People are not rational beings; rather, they are emotional beings with a variety of prejudices. Most of the time, pride and vanity are strong emotions that drive people’s thoughts and actions. Because of this, most people never criticize themselves for anything, no matter how unjustified it may be.
For mainly two reasons, criticizing others can be fruitless for both parties:
- It offends a person`s priceless pride, diminishes their sense of significance, and incites resentment.
- It makes people defensive. The receiver of criticism will probably justify themselves and will likely criticize back
Although it is not as easy as it sounds, be as tolerant and forgiving as possible. These two attributes require character and self control.
The Solution
Try to understand people rather than pass judgment on them. Analyze their motivations and try to understand them. That generates sympathy, tolerance, and kindness and is more profitable than criticism.
2. Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation
Do you know what the most significant principle in human nature is?
As humans, we have an inherent need to be appreciated by others. According to John Dewey, one of America’s greatest philosophers, the deepest human urge is the desire to be and feel important.
Everyone has a different way of feeling significant.
The key is to arouse enthusiasm among people by expressing gratitude and encouragement, as Charles Schwab, the first president of the U.S. Steel Company in 1921, used to do.
Appreciation vs. Flattery
To make things clear, before we go any further, we need to separate flattery from appreciation. In general, as you will read about the main differences between flattery and appreciation in this article The difference between flattery and praise | by Arnaud Weiss | Axel | Medium, flattery comes from a purely selfish standpoint of the speaker and it is mainly untrue and self-serving for the transmitter. Appreciation comes from the heart, selflessly and genuinely.
What we encourage you and other readers to do (in this instance) is to appreciate sincerely the actions of others, when it is worth mentioning and when the timing is right.
The Solution
Try to concentrate on the positive aspects of the other person rather than on your requirements and achievements. Everybody is better than me and you in a way that there is always something new to learn from them.
3. Arouse An Eager Want In Others
Although it is simple, this advice can be hard to be applied by many of us. When conversing with your spouse, your friend, your colleague, or anybody else, it is prudent not to talk about the things that concern you, which are in your interest. Unfortunately, you are the only person interested in what you want. This statement may have sounded cruel to you but I am afraid it holds for the majority of the population on earth. It is nothing to be taken personally, due to human nature just being that way. Everybody has more or less the same motives.
So, influencing others requires talking about what they want and showing them how to get it.
The Solution
Talk in terms of what the other person wants. It is very hard to do but try to see things from another point of view of a person. Your life will improve noticeably, once you start following the advice above.
Conclusion
These three fundamental techniques—avoiding criticism and condemnation, expressing honest appreciation, and arousing in the other person an eager want—illuminate a path towards enriching our connections with others.
Understanding that people crave understanding and acknowledgment allows us to foster empathy in our interactions. By embracing genuine appreciation and steering clear of criticism, we pave the way for positive engagements that uplift both parties involved. Moreover, the art of sparking enthusiasm in others lays the groundwork for mutual understanding and collaboration.
These principles aren’t mere advice; they are timeless keys to unlocking the doors of effective communication. As we weave these techniques into the fabric of our daily interactions, we sow the seeds of stronger, more meaningful relationships. So, let us embark on this journey of intentional and considerate connection, as we endeavor to not just influence but truly understand and win the hearts of those around us.
